Conflicted feelings || Ghost x Fm!reader (2025)

Conflicted feelings || Ghost x Fm!reader

Originally posted by daniel-bruehl

Summary:

You and ghost have been working for a while now, you work well as a team however you both have an issue that is clearly easier said than done

“Just fucking great!” Ghost mumbles angrily as nothing but silence fills the radio. You two are stuck in the abandoned shack until morning. The storm raging on outside. You had no way of getting back to base with the severity. Only a fool would consider stepping out in this. The mission was over and you managed to steal the intel but with the current weather situation, HQ had gone silent on you two. Leaving you both with no choice but to find safe and security in an abandoned small house, engulfed by the forest.

“Calm down Ghost we’ll be fine.” You retort back, not wanting to deal with a moody lieutenant making the whole situation worse than it already is.

“Don’t start, Y/n…” He stares at you. His brown eyes behind his mask glaring at you. You can see parts of his mask glisten as the rain drips from it.

“Just saying… Getting angry isn’t gonna help us… Best we can do is just wait this shit storm. We’ll try again in the morning.” You sigh and shake off your bag but keeping your rifle at hand in case of any situation that may still spring you to action, your hand resting lightly on the stock. It’s cold metal caressing the palm of your hand. You hear a loud sigh as Ghost finds a spot and settles against a broken chair, its wood in splinters.

“Guess I’ll take first watch then… Mind passing me your flashlight?” He said with annoyance, not exactly happy with everything. You just nod solemnly before grabbing your flashlight from your utility belt and chucking it to him. He catches it and looks it over before turning it on and off.

“Don’t break it like you did with yours…” You lean up against the cold wall of the shack. The coldness of the grey walls sending a slight shiver down your spine. It’s not exactly the most comfortable spot but you can’t complain since you could be in a much worse scenario.

“I’ll wake you up in 3 hours…” Ghost reminds you. His voice still filled with agitation.

“Goodnight ghost…” You tried to at least calm the tension, the strom already making you feel anxious and you hate sleeping on a bad note.

“Whatever just go to sleep.” His voice was cold, clearly not wanting to make small talk. You decided not to comment however as you closed your eyes.

The room was silent for a while, apart from the howling off the wind and and the rain crashing on the grass outside. Ghost never bothered checking if you was asleep as his eyes was fixated on the door. He was on edge, sitting completely still.

Until the common sound of thunder broke through like a hot knife through butter and you was jolted awake. Your eyes adjusting and your heart began to race. You was never a fan of thunderstorms.

“It’s just a bit of thunder, go back to sleep…” Ghost was aware that you was awake. His gaze never lifting from the door.

“I…I can’t.” You felt yourself begin to shake as a flash suddenly lightened up the room. Your heart now racing.

“What do you mean you can’t? It’s just some thunder. You’re fine.” Ghost almost laughs , his head shaking. Thunder follows along and you mind races. Your hands now shaking and your breath is begin to become faster.

“Ghost… I… I-” Another flash interrupts you and you let out a gasp, closing your eyes to block it out. This time ghost turns to you and notices the state your in.

“It’ll pass…” He wasn’t the best at providing support but he couldn’t just ignore you. You let out a loud gasp as you now struggle to breath. Another echoing boom sends you into a spiral of anxiety and your head gets dizzy. You suddenly grip onto your vest, trying to stop suffocating. Ghost’s mood instantly switches and he immediately rushes to your side. He helps you out of the vest and he looks at you.

“Y/n… I’m gonna need you to breath for me.” His voice is stren yet light enough to come off as concerned. You just nod in reply, closing your eyes and taking a deep breath. Ghost watches on, his eyes on yours.

“In and out… Just take it nice and slow.” He knows exactly how you feel right now as you continue to panic. Seeing you like this has completely changed Simons cold hard demeanor, at least for now.

Another flash breaks away and you feel yourself getting worse.

“Stay right their I’m gonna grab some water…” He’s about to get up but you grip his hand, he flinches a little but he doesn’t move away.

“Sorry…” You suddenly let go, knowing ghost doesn’t like to be touched and you just pushed that boundary. All you need right now is to be held and comforted but with Ghost you knew that was virtually impossible. He was never the type to give out a hug or to pat your shoulder, knowing physical contact was a problem for him. It was one of the first things you learnt about him and despite the fact that you two aren’t always seeing eye to eye, you respected that rule.

“Tis ok.” His voice is a little rugged, a blush forming under his mask. This time the contact didn’t scare him or panic him, it sent a whole new different feeling for him. He craved more.

“Do… Do you want me to hold you?” He catches you off guard. The question sending you into a complete wave of questions. Although his gaze on you reads a thousand words as to reassure you that he’s deadly serious.

“It’s alright if you prefer to… Be alone…” He adds, not wanting to make you uncomfortable with the idea. Although ghost wants nothing more now to just feel that sudden warm feeling he just experienced moments ago.

“Uhm… S-sure…” You still shake from the anxiety and he nods. He begins to take his vest off and you realise that he’s getting distracted.

“Your supposed to be on outlook-” BOOM. The clap shakes the ground and you let out a small cry, hands fidgeting the hem of your shirt as you desperately try to distract yourself.

“Not when you’re like this…” He sits down beside you and he picks you up with ease, like you as light as a newborn baby. He places you on his lap and his arms engulf you into a tight but gentle embrace. This new side of ghost makes your mind suddenly race. Was you completly wrong about ghost all this time? Did he actually have a heart beneath the cold layers.

He just sits their with you in his arms, his hands making small circles in your flesh. The sensation sending your heart to flutter. It’s almost like he’s done this before, you immediately get a wave of guilt. You laugh silently to yourself at it as its stupid since you and ghost was just squad mates. After all, he showed no interest of actually wanting to understand you better, to know your ins and outs as a person. Never taking an interest to find out what you are as a person. To each other you were just strangers, although you felt differently about it. You couldn’t deny the fact that you have slowly fallen in love with the masked man who was your superior who some how has you safe and secured in his arms. It was only time before the stone cold killer; who’s famously known to be as quick as he is deadly at his job, had you wrapped around his finger.

Every time you wanted to get closer, he’d shut you out. Never allowing you into his life, yet you still don’t understand why out of all that you believe, he’s suddenly changed.

“Fucking hell… I’ve been wanting to do this for ages.” He breaks the silence and looks down at you. “You feel so… Warm…”

You look up at him and you see his eyes smiling at you, instead of being the hard emotionless stare your always expecting, his gaze is soft as his eyes meet yours. You blush a light pink and he takes a deep breath. You feel his chest rise and fall as he does so.

“Suppose I have some explaining to do…” He senses your wandering mind.

“You bet your ass you do.” You retort in a playful tone. Light but just enough to help the flow of the situation.

“I’m sorry for… Being so hard on you. I never intended for you to feel like I don’t care. I really don’t know what to say, never really had to…say how I feel.” He clears his throat, his hands dropping from yours as you notice hes struggling.

“Take your time ghost…” You reassure him.

“I never hated you, y/n. The only reason I acted the way you did because I didn’t want you to get hurt, I still don’t but the more I deny my feelings the more our… Bond is gonna get wounded and I can’t do that to you. I tried to get you to stay away, but like a dog chasing a ball you always came back, trying so hard to keep up. For the first time in my life you didn’t see me as some… Monster. You wasn’t scared of me. All my life I’ve been leading up until I met you has always been solo. I was to scared to trust people, to always fight alone. Trust was and is still hard for me to give out, but there’s just something about you… Your different than anyone else. You have a heart that I wish I had.” His words are full of sincerity. His eyes telling you all that you need to know.

“I will admit I was wrong about you. You always used to shelter yourself from everything, all I wanted was for us to get along. I just don’t understand why out of everything you decide to finally speak up now.” You keep your eyes on his, he brings a hand to cup your face, his finger stroking your cheek. Your heart soars for the longing it’s been wanting. You have wanted nothing more than this moment.

“Because the people closest to me always get hurt… I was just protecting you. You don’t understand how hard it was for me to keep away from you. All I wanted was for me to open up to you and tell you how I feel but I was chained back by my own walls. Afraid of scaring you off and losing the person that I only care for in this gods forsaken world.” He says with an almost protective tone, this ghost is completely different to the one you knew 10 minutes ago.

“You know I could never hate you Ghost-”

“Simon…” He interrupts you.

“Huh?” You look at him puzzled.

“No more Ghost… Please call me Simon.” He strokes a finger under your eye, his eyes glued to your gaze, taking in every single detail about your face like it’s the last time. “You’re so beautiful…” He murmurs, bringing your face to his. His breath blowing softly onto your skin. Your breath catches and you feel your cheeks bloom a rose red. Emotions swell within you and your heart enlarges with the feelings. You move a hand to cup his own face, the smooth texture of his balaclava rubbing along the palm of your hand. You feel the muscles of his face move as he smiles at you, his hazel eyes piercing yours. With a sudden movement he removes the bottom of his mask, revealing his soft brown lips. You can see a scar just below his cheek, his own a cherry colour. Your heart is in your hands as he traces a finger against your own lips. Delicate but just enough to send sparks of passion through you.

“I want to kiss you….” He whispers, his eyes never leaving yours. He’s hesitant, waiting for you to answer.

“Then stop wasting time and kiss me you idiot.” You blurt out, your mind having zero filter as your mind is a racing roller-coaster, but it’s to late to apologise as ghost already closes the gap and his lips are on yours. They are warm and wet as kisses you with a sudden fire, you wrap your arms around him, pulling him close. He cups a hand around your head and another on your waist as reply. His kisses send your heart into a frantic rhythm as you both melt into each others embrace. Your soul soaring above the clouds as you have been waiting for this moment for so long. You have no plans to stop now and neither does Ghost.

He pulls away and you don’t realise how out of breath you are until you come to your senses.

“Notice how the storms passed…” Ghost can’t help but stare at you. You’ve been so caught up with you both confessing to each other you completely forgot about the strom.

“Oh…” Is all you’re able to form. Your heart still racing.

“Are you… Ok… With everything?” Ghosts voice is tinted with worry slightly.

“OK? I’ve never felt so… Happy in my life. Of course I’m ok with everything. Are you?” You need to know that what just happened wasn’t a lie.

“I’m more than ok… So…i don’t usually ask but I’ll say this instead. Would you like to be mine? I’ll be yours is you so wish.” His tone is gentle as he smiles, he wants nothing more than for you to be his.

“I’ll gladly be yours… Always.” You snuggle into him and you listen to the soft thadump oh his heart. He wraps his arms around you, securing yourself in his embrace. He leans down to kiss your head lightly. You feel euphoric as to what’s happend, your haunted questions are now forever put to rest as you just lay their in complete silence in Simons arms. The man who you knew was tough and ice cold actually has a soft spot after all.

“Get some rest… I’ll be here.” He rubs your back softly, his hand trialing back and forth along your spine.

“Goodnight Simon…” You try again but this time it’s not as bitter as the one you said earlier.

“Goodnight y/n… Sleep well.” He whispers softly against your ear as you slowly fall into a peaceful slumber and with that, you both hold onto each other as you sleep. Knowing that this is just the start of your journey together, finally feeling at ease.